melancholy.

there's been so much time since the last time i wrote here.
or it just seems to me like that.
nothing new or strange.
supposed to be summer out there, so try to have fun.
school exams 'll be over soon.
but i still have this feeling.
wherever i look at , i see nothing. nothing interesting. nothing really valuable.nothing i should struggle for.
but i 'm alive.
without having asked for it.
without being able to destroy my self. yet.
one day i may achieve it.
one day everything might be different.and i may not even exist.
that would be in one of my dreams probably.
i hate loneliness.
because then i start writing.everything. all of my thoughts.
and then i get confused.
more than every other time.
i just wanna be inside an empty room. just myself. and a piece of paper with a pen.
just these things.
and spend the rest of my life looking at the empty space on the paper and chewing the pencil.
not what you had been waiting for.
i don't care.
i dont'care for what you think.cause you're just nothing to me.

imagine.just imagine.
in another world, my other self will be happy.
and in a third world, i may not exist.